Top positive review
The carpet that makes you look awesome, even if you aren't because you choose to believe so
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 18 January 2021
And protects your neck. And there is a little bit of space extra in case I want to become fatter, which I don't plan, but we never know, better to prevent than sorry, right?
Let me explain the good feeling that you will have, very, very specifically:
Imagine when you wake up in those harsh nuclear winters that started when your grandparents were kids, when COVID destroyed the world economy, so the governments started wars to reset it. And things escalated quickly because in Portugal, one technician (without any knowledge - with yellow skin and three or two hairs on his head, and fat), a cousin of someone that got him the job (stealing the opportunity to that kid called Rick who studied Rocket Science and ended up being a taxi driver for different dimensional timelines).
Anyways, that yellow guy fell asleep and touched the red bottom unintentionally, and an alarm played the song "U can't touch this", launching a nuclear missile and puff! The Americans blamed Russians, Italians, Russians, One British Accent, Asians, South America Latins, aliens and whatnot, shooting their missiles against all those countries. The UK government activated the Brexit Ultimate Pack or Season Pass and left EU, Europe Continent, The Planet Earth, and Milky Way, blaming immigrants for abusing benefits, studying too much or work hard; French PM said Je ne parle pas anglais; Japanese activated all those anime heroes to fight against Titans, and Portugal faced the biggest crisis ever because there was no more sun, and still don't know the power of the Complains' Book after decades of coffees with sugar and complaints that never changed the world. And ice-cold beers like Sagres with screw on the plate or Super Bock with yellow beans. And that's how it started. Still, no one knows what's going on in North Korea.
Anyways, imagine that and imagine you live underground because on the surface there are giant advertisements that send messages to your brain giving you orders on how to spend your energy, telling you how inferior you are by telling how to become perfect because everyone does it, and showing things that you don't need, reminding you that you needed it, to forget after buying it - but of course, with your consent and your voice.
Anyways, outside there are lurkers like giant cockroaches and other maneaters, manhaters that only eat brains, which might be a bliss. We could have dragons but that is medieval stuff.
Anyways, you still go outside to trade with other communities, with a mask because the air is radioactive with COVID which makes people losing their masks and their minds and gather around in groups to show those diplomas specialised in COVID-19, -23, -59, and to the infinite and beyond. Plus showing those diplomas about The Diploma About Viruses and Humanity: Complicated Relationships For Dummies That I Would Show You But I Don't Have But I Believe Because Freedom.
Anyways, people die and some that you loved passed away. And you feel sad because you never saw the sun. You were indoctrinated to not leave the bunker unless for extreme necessity as scavenge for toilet paper or pretend to workout in the park.
The good news is the currency is a piece of a special paper, to take the (bad word here) out of you, but because equality doesn't bring individual power, there is this special more powerful type of paper, called wet wipes, only for one percentage of the people who think, deep inside that the rest of the humans are peasants and must be treated like cute animals, but with a mansion between them, and jets and boats and cars and businesses and lawyers and stuff. And they own all the production of hand sanitiser in the world, in case they touch one of us or something common reachable by peasants. And because they have it all, there is a huge crisis somewhere far away from your world, where hand non-sanitisers companies were created for charity. Ensuring those worlds keep tragic and chaotic by giving them one percent of food or medicine, instead of books or the ability to read, to claim they are the good guys here and pay fewer taxes. Like Fidalgo from A Barca do Auto do Inferno from Gil Vicente did.
Conclusion: the world is a disaster, there is no more sun, no more stars, humans are the top of the Animal Kingdom, and we behave like a virus, and we kill for pleasure and the bad guys, which are us - humans because we are the only ones who kill our species for any reason as far as arguments go or for peace.
But you don't care, you wake up and almost feel an orgasm just by touching that fluffy carpet with your feet. It could be that but it would feel like I was paid to write this.
The truth is, imagine that is cold and you think to yourself that you could use a coat. Here, a coat, just what you needed, and if you leave your hands in the coat's pocket, you will never think about the cold.
The point is: this coat does the job very well unless you forgot to check the weather and you didn't take with you. On that case, it's your fault.
the Keyboard Knight, the one who writes reviews to make this world... a better place. You can call me Doctor Humble, or The Most Humble Person Of You All.